My American parents were always very open about my Korean name ("that girl had the audacity"???). If not, you can always do it yourself when you're 18. Most people dont even know Hobie isnt his real name! The adoptive parents that changed their mind The adoptive parents that changed their mind Close Thousands of children are successfully adopted … I should also add the name she put down was a name she heard a nurse say was going to be her unborn baby's name. How could I find her real parents? Oh, but then, he was being 'rescued' and given a 'better life'. However, for older children, they should be given a choice. But his birth certificate still says Seth. I was in the foster system for a little while and went through the adoption process 3 times total. If they say no, wait till your 18. Did your parents change your name when you were adopted? When my parents adopted my brothers they kept their first and middle names (but of course changed the last - though strangely enough the social security administration didn't bother to update their last names until 1999 - they were adopted in 1985). Seeing a question on this section about names finally gave me the courage to speak my feelings. I just feel they should think about it first, just realize your kid might be a little sad. They wanted to make them up and all chose names that rhymed with their first names. Well, it's over and done with now. How do you think about the answers? How many children can you adopt from foster care? my parents changed the first letter of my name and that was it. I am a single man, aged 34 years old, And I want to adopt a daughter, where do I go to do this? I was consumed with curiosity about what happened in that room and who she talked to. I am not happy that my name was changed. I was adopted from Korea at 3 months. We adopt under We are foster/adoptive parents. But you never know some may be grateful. I did, do, have, will again. Guess that makes up for all he lost. It seems a nun told my first mom that she would give my adoptive parents a letter from my first mom, explaining the importance of my original name and a request that it be kept. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. If you were abandon maybe the FC system named you and your AP wanted to make a fresh start for you by renaming you. We adopted our 3 oldest children when they were 5,6 & 7. The controversy … (weird huh?). While they probably knew their names, they couldn't talk, and would probably have adjusted to new names just fine. We adopted two children from another country and though their names are uncommon names for American children, they have had no problems at all, as far as friends/teachers/etc. My adoptive mom changed my middle name and gave me my natural mom’s name when my adoption was finalized at eight years old. So that's the name I got and have had for over 17 years! At the time, it seems, my adoptive parents didn't have a choice (about keeping my name). I mean I like the name that I have now but I loved the name that was given to me. He was about 10 years old. It's all very strange. It'll take a while, so be patient as they wrap their minds around it. I have no idea at all who gave it to me. When Hollowell was 12 years old, her parents let their children know they had started the process of adopting a baby girl. I had a name that I knew. How do you feel about it - whether they did or didn't. I really don't understand why your adoptive parents never asked your opinion before changing your name. After all, it is my name in question here, so I felt I should at least have a choice in it. I also found medical bills, totaling about $800, which our adoptive parents paid. Get your answers by asking now. What do you think about adoptive parents changing a child's name? Find the best ones near you. I desperately wish I’d known more about my birth family when I was growing up in Chorleywood, Hertfordshire. I know his name, but I don’t know if he is named on my OBC. The only good thing that came out of it, is if I have a girl when I have a child, I already have a name picked out. ), most families who are … Somehow... My adoptive parents kept my original first name as my middle name. In any event even if named by birth parents, I think adoptive parents are entitled at the very least to consider changing a child's name. Meet my adoptive parents.Click here to subscribe to my channel ! That's such a pretty name. Ethan Kelly, who was hospitalized and rescued from the abusive Alabama home when he was 14 years old, faced his adoptive parents in court for the first time in four years on Thursday. I was relinquished at 13 months old and adopted at 2 years old. Avvo has 97% of all lawyers in the US. The social worker and adoption agency director strongly recommended this mom rename her 1.5-year-old daughter post-adoption, but she refused. We treat it as a special gift from us. Being adopted at 4 you were used to having your name be Juanita. When my parents adopted me, they did not change my name. Tell your parents you want to change your name back to Juanita. How do I find someone's birth mother with little info? Let's face it, most people don't even change the name of a dog or cat that they get from the animal shelter. Here is a “find birth parents guide” that can give suggestions on starting points. Libberton’s journey toward ... he learned that his adoptive parents had never legally changed his … I wish they hadn't! Some children's names are changed by adoptive parents for security reasons: they may live near to birth family members and/or have very unusual names. Just something I thought was interesting when I discovered this as a kid. The between time was spent in foster care. How do you think about the answers? The adoptive parents that changed their mind Thousands of children are successfully adopted each year, but a small number of cases will end in … We adopted four years ago from social services. You can sign in to vote the answer. When a child is adopted, along with finalization papers, an amended birth certificate (ABC) is issued which can show any or all of the information on the original but replaces the birth parents’ names with those of the adoptive How could I find her real parents? Hobie was a nickname and now the school calls him Hobie, everyone does! They were only 2 and 3 at the time. In some cultures, names are routinely changed throughout life. They didn't know any better. That 10-year-old may even be glad his parents gave him a name that won't be a tongue twister for every teacher he ever has. You have every right to feel the way you do. He's being taken from his country, his culture, his language and having his identity striped away at the same time! Did your bio family or the foster care system name you Juanita? Of course you're sad and angry. What kind of start is that for a new life? It was mainly my a-dad who wanted to change my name, according to my a-mom. My bio father died before I was born. Or to adopt another nickname which you are more comfortable with? “Parents never told me (16 F[emale]) I have a twin brother, now that I know and we’re bonding they’re upset because ‘we’re getting too close,’ and parents changed my name!” “Our bio parents died when we were about 1 year old. The child whose parents renamed him so that he fits with the rest of their kids will likely be glad of it. Please talk to your adoptive parents about your feelings and wishes. What can I do to work through my upset feelings? Is it uncommon for Jewish people to adopt? My (adoptive) parents changed it to a name that wasn't even in the top 1000. My original name was Juanita. A lot of this is pretty sordid history. champ regrets 'insensitive' tweets, Small Colorado town confronts coronavirus variant, The year in Meghan Markle: A royal exit, activism and loss, NBA Spurs' Becky Hammon makes coaching history, Most are expected to save, not spend, $600 check. A TEEN boy wished he was dead after his parents starved and tortured him in a basement for years while carrying on a normal life upstairs. And you're still Juanita inside. I felt as if I always How much do they, the adoptive parents, have to love us to hope and want their adoptive child, us, to have unconditional love for them? My biological mother was a junkie with 2 kids already, and i guess my mindset is also that she didnt deserve the priviledge to name me, Just like now that im an adult she doesnt warrant a place in my life. Check to see if your name can be changed legally back now or if you have to wait to be a legal adult. I suggest asking your parents if they'll change your name back to Juanita. Let them know how important it is too you too have your original first name Juanita. They may not realize that this is so important to you. Our newest edition to the family we "re-named". Both my sister and i were adopted out (Me at 4 months old, her at 2 months) and our adoptive parents renamed us, i was originally called Anthony but was renamed Cameron, In my case though i actually prefer the name my Adoptive parents gave me (No offense to any Anthony's). They spent their whole lives with mismatched names given to them by a drunkie drug addict who gave birth to the younger one in a toilet. In his spare time (ha), Mike is a professional blogger, speaker, adoptive father of eight, and former foster parent of 20. I guess I can sorta get my head around giving a new born (or nearly new born) child a name when you adopt. So....adopted means it's okay to have no respect for anything that occurred prior to her coming into my life? Changing your name took away what little you had. The Catholic Church even changed my baptismal For 4 months while my mom was pregnant they called me Amanda. I think it is ok if parents want to change their adopted kids names. It is not a cardinal sin to change a name. Even though now it is common for families to have children with different last names than their parents (because of divorce, children born outside of marriage, etc. Worse case scenario is that you have to wait to legally change it. Yes I was adopted. My Mom was adopted. When my parents adopted me, they left my first name as it was. However, … In the end we kept their middle names the same they know that but still choose to tell people the rhyming names. Thanks much to everyone for your answers! Could you possibly ask your parents again if they would mind if you changed your name, or at least used Juanita as your middle name? Most of them will probably want to keep their names, but some may want a new name to celebrate the start of a new life. However, when they adopted me, they changed my name to Anne. My adoptive mother had promised the saints that if she could finally have a child, she would name the child after a particular saint. Is giving up your child for adoption the best alternative? . I am Mexican American and was adopted by white parents when I was 4. Let's face it, most people don't even Hey, I'm using my friend's account to ask this question because mine won't work. When i was about 10, my adoptive mom was speaking poorly of the woman down the street for changing her 2 year old son's (her natural son) middle name. When I was born in the early 80s I was given one of the most popular baby names that year. A name is a very personal thing. My Mom was adopted. The adoptive parents that changed their mind The adoptive parents that changed their mind Close Thousands of children are successfully adopted … Depending on how old you are now, you can legally change it. Is this normal? In my adult years, I had my name legally changed back to my birth name. In the past, they may have … Many of us will have a variety of nicknames before we grow old and die. It was always pretty cruel to have them named such NORMAL boring names when the rest of us had names that were sorta out there. How ridiculously insensitive of his adoptive parents!" In a way look at it as the day you started a new life and were placed in a loving home with 2 people who desperately wanted you, I mean the reality is most of us would never have had opportunities, been loved , education etc had we not been adopted out! I suppose we could have petitioned the I bet they will. To make matters worse, one of the names was already the same name one of my cousins had (which made for confusion) and the other one ended up with the initials B.A.D. Her birth mother put a first but no middle name down. I remember my foster parents calling me Juanita, and my a-parents told me that this was my original name. It may hurt your parents but IMO you need to do what feels right to you. My name was changed. lol. I think I would have liked having the name, and feeling that connection to my origin. I can only speak for myself as my guess is individual adoptees have a whole range of feelings on this topic. Adoptive parents will want the child to carry their name and not that of their birth family. I can't help it- I feel sad sometimes when I think of my original name. Fathers day special. My adoptive parents were obviously told my name (which my adoptive mother verified) but they chose to change it anyway. We added our own names to the ones our son's mom gave him, so he has a name that is longer than he was at birth. Along with beloved wife, Kristin, he created the award-winning blog: Confessions of An Adoptive Parent (w ww.confessionsofanadoptiveparent.com) , which reaches a global audience of 100,0 00 + every month . Tell them Anne (with an E) just doesn't fit good on you. Still have questions? champ regrets 'insensitive' tweets. After a while my adoptive parents changed towards me because they felt I had changed my name to be on my biological father’s side when truthfully it was all about identity for me. So no one knows where my first name came from. Well I can't blame you. How birth mothers (and sometimes fathers) and prospective adoptive parents connect with one another has changed, too. In general, I don't think it's bad to change an infants name. I saw a program about an adoptee from Russia who's adoptive parents changed his name to a more "American" sounding name. I am not happy that my name was changed. How do I find someone's birth mother with little info? Of course we changed their last and thought about changing their middle names. You deal with them and take one day at a time. I hope we added to vs taking away from their identity. Why do people adopt kids that aren't their same race when they already have children who are? . That was really dumb of them and a waste of time for everybody involved. I thought, "How awful! The COVID‐19 pandemic presents unforeseen challenges to families. COVID 'superspreader' event feared in L.A. she is 5 monthes old and we have brought her home from the hospital. Change your name back if you want to but keep Anne out of respect for your Dad. This mixed‐methods study aimed to address how 89 adoptive parents (lesbian, gay, … When I was born my mom said I didnt look like an Amanda and I was a Kirsten.. My adoptive parents were not even informed that my mom had named me. Until then, you can request people call you Juanita. If that is so, tell your family, friends, teachers, and everyone else you prefer to be called Juanita. That's exactly what she did, despite the fact that I was older and had been living with my birth name all that time. You can sign in to vote the answer. I remember my foster parents calling me Juanita, and my a-parents told me that this was my original name. Your adoptive parents should have kept your name if that is what you wanted. Why do people adopt kids that aren't their same race when they already have children who are? ? I really wish that she didn't. I mean only first and middle names...of course my last name was changed to my new family's name... :p. BTW-When I met my b-mom, I learned that I was named after the child of a movie star couple. Still have questions? Adoptinfo Even in states where consent is irrevocable, there is usually some provision for cases of fraud or duress (if the birthparents were deceived by the adoptive parents or the adoption arranger, for example). I just can't fathom adopting a child from another country and culture, then changing their name to something that is from the AP's culture instead. lol But my ex's lil brother was born Seth Daniel Johnson, and is now Hobie Seth Daniel Johnson. Trump to return to White House early from Florida, Pet food recalled after at least 28 dogs die: FDA, Report: Player from '85 Bears SB team arrested for murder, Strong early turnout in Ga. runoffs puts GOP on edge, NFL coach explains how decision to cut QB went down, 'Jeopardy!' How many children can you adopt from foster care? I don't blame you for feeling sad and upset. I didn't have a name just baby girl [surname], the foster care system is the one that told my adoptive family, then foster family that they had to name me, so they did. I have heard from other adoptees that have been renamed by their adoptive parents that is is hard on them as well. I am a single man, aged 34 years old, And I want to adopt a daughter, where do I go to do this? I saw this in a recent "Dear Abby" question where an adoptive father wrote in concerned about his adult adopted son's name change and Abby concluded that the son was ungrateful to his father. I said to her, "You changed my name when I was 2." I just thought of something as I was reading some of the later answers. It always made it clear to the entire world that my parents HADN'T named them. I think it was an incredibly selfish act on the part of my adoptive parents to put their own interests above those of the child they were adopting. But I don't get the point of changing a child's name...especially an older child! * When we adopted our daughter her name was automatically legally changed to our last name. I know my answer is not going to be popular but...As your parents they have the right to change or name you what they want to. Whats the use of going through the stress of naming your child when they already have a name? I get it. So I approached a local solicitor and changed it by deed poll. When I asked them why they changed my name, they said, "Because we are your real parents who raised you, and thus we got to choose your name.". Parents make mistakes. If you want to go back to the name you were born with, you have every right to do so. I also agree that it's a shame your parents changed your name. ADD: Gershom: Wow...how bizarre is it that you 'pretended' to have the name your were given at birth! 1st name's initial ( she didn't even want the initial-she was 7 at adoption date), the 7 week old we kept his name but added a 2nd middle name ( my uncles name) his original middle name happened to be my husbands middle name, the baby's first name was changed due to the fact that 2 of my cousins had daughters with the same name, my 13 yr. birth daughter didn't like the name and it was just to popular, we kept her middle name and added a 2nd mid. My adoptive parents are deceased as are my biological parents. But everything changed after her family decided to adopt a baby girl. I feel that two things have been mine since birth; my first and middle names. Say to them, I am upset and this is what I need you to do to make it right for me. 4, does seem a little late in the peace to change a child's name, However it's standard protocol (At least here in Australia) for the adoptive parents to rename the child. My adoptive parents stopped taking care of me years ago what can i do? to network mommy- there is no way in the world you can erase those memories that your daughter has. Get your answers by asking now. I can understand naming a child when a birth mom doesn't choose a name before relinquishing. But as I mulled over the treatment I had received from his daughters, mother-in-law and sisters I … We discussed it with them and they were surprising excited about the possibility. You'd already lost both parents, an extended family, an entire culture, and they took your name too. That is what I I noticed that my biological mother had made two phone calls the day after we were born. As we prepare to adopt again, we will again change the name. They are our children - we will raise them to adulthood and hopefully long beyond that, like most other parents we will try to do the best for our children and (as I said above) I fell we are less likely to trivialize decisions like this than birth parents. If your bio family named you they should/could have kept Juanita as a middle name if they had issues with it being your first name, then you could easily go by that name if you choose. I'm sure that's a legacy they could never have lived without. My name, you know, whether they gave it to me correctly or not, that’s who I am. At some point, most adoptees become curious about their birth families. Guest Post By Angie My name is Angie, and as of the date of this I am currently shy of my 40th birthday by 6 months. I think it was an incredibly selfish act on the part of my adoptive parents to put their own interests above those of the child they were adopting. The year in Meghan Markle: A royal exit, activism and loss, NBA Spurs' Becky Hammon makes coaching history, Small Colorado town confronts coronavirus variant. This was apparently totally accidental as both my first and middle name now came from my adoptive dad's two best friends at the time. Ask your parents to restore your Original name for you. They gave me a middle name and that has always been special to me because they gave it to me. Almost all women will change their last names when they marry. When we adopted our older children (who were named by the government due to abandonment) we kept their original name as their middle name and let them choose what name they want to be called. In fact, when I got my Non-ID info, which included that fact, my mom (adoptive) was furious that "that girl" had had the audacity to name me. Interestingly, the agency involved didn't bother to tell his mother that his birth certificate would be changed. 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